Since the dawn of man, we have all been asking the same question:
Am I dying?
I have discovered a simple formula to figure out if you are dying.
First, answer these 10 simple questions:
1. Are you currently in a car, but also underwater?
2. Does it hurt to breathe and are you going to stop…
the reason why people are so hard to read is because they are composed of the letters a, t, c, and g in random sequences and as im sure you know, that doesn’t spell anything
How many bikini season posts have I seen on the internet so far this Spring? How many sopping guides; rules to determine which fruit I resemble the most? How many lists are there of swimsuits and sundresses that are “appropriate” for my body type? How much time have I spent in front of the mirror,…
Shia LaBeouf live-tweets his acid trip.
3:15 AM – 7 Aug 12
OK everybody here goes nothing. I’m gonna light a cigarette. Where are my cigarettes. Brb going to Walgreens for cigs
3:45 AM – 7 Aug 12
the security guard at Walgreens is a crazy guy. there was fire coming out of his head and i told him your heads on fire and he just looked at me
3:46 AM – 7 Aug 12
i’m gonna light a cig
3:52 AM – 7 Aug 12
theres like 4 types of lettuce in this apt. i didnt even buy that much lettuce. what am i gonna do juggle lettuce. alright bye
3:56 AM – 7 Aug 12
indiana jones was the peak of my career. feel very aware that it’s all downhill from here
4:03 AM – 7 Aug 12
i resent my father camping out in my house. ok but get this, its fine… yeah its totally fine he can do whatever he wants. the end
4:08 AM – 7 Aug 12
is this entertaining. is this new media. i dont understand my feet
4:09 AM – 7 Aug 12
you guys ever watch that video of the double rainbow?
4:12 AM – 7 Aug 12
@frankiemunez who’s laughing now? who’s laughing now buddy… checkmate
4:14 AM – 7 Aug 12
my character hasnt seen his brother before. i figured that out. he doesnt even know he HAS a brother. but he doesss have a brother. complicated actually
4:28 AM – 7 Aug 12
i would have sex with lars von trier on camera. i would. but only if its dogme style. im a comedian guys
4:33 AM – 7 Aug 12
im nothing, im an idiot. how did i get here when nothing happened
4:44 AM – 7 Aug 12
what’s the difference btw mayonaise and mayo? is there a difference
4:46 AM – 7 Aug 12
who has my hand i want it back
4:48 AM – 7 Aug 12
i was lying before. will smith is good at rap
4:51 AM – 7 Aug 12
twitter is like the energy that links our brains together. mental lubricant
5:06 AM – 7 Aug 12
i’m wearing three watches and they all have different times. i have a watch on my ankle… damn you… sorry, i love u
5:14 AM – 7 Aug 12
yr gonna see me in yr dream cause i dont know where to live anymore
5:22 AM – 7 Aug 12
im done w this!! im nothing…
5:56 AM – 7 Aug 12
ok guys i dont really ‘get’ sigur ros but theyre beautiful anyway
I cannot stand small talk, because I feel like there’s an elephant standing in the room shitting all over everything and nobody is saying anything. I’m just dying to say, “Hey, do you ever feel like jumping off a bridge?” or “Do you feel an emptiness inside your chest at night that is going to swallow you?” But you can’t say that at a cocktail party.
“
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The Mental Illness Happy Hour by Paul Gilmartin (via mayraq) Forever my favorite quote. (via kaitmpayne) |
